A Good Good Night

Justin (my gay boyfriend) was feeling a little deserted. Fully supportive of my New Year's resolution, he was actually keeping pretty good track of all the different guys. But we were in need of some quality time.

So last night (Friday) we got dressed up and hit the town. First was a stop at a local gallery where our friend was having the opening night for his new exhibit. It was nice to be out amongst friends in a normal setting, laughing, chatting, and feeling my complete self.

Afterwards, we went to this party that we had been invited to earlier in the week. It's a long story, but in short we really didn't know anyone at this party except the one person that had invited us. It wasn't so bad in the beginning and didn't quite reach the painful stage, but let's just say neither of us has a real strong desire to encourage any relationships that may have been formed. But it was good to be with my Justin. I do adore him.

Screen Names

So everyone on this dating site is required to have a screen name.

Being on the site for a bit now...I must confess I have become fascinated with some of these screen names. I've learned that some...like "biggie_ocean" are handed out to unfortunate souls who couldn't come up with their own.

Some are basic, lacking creativity...and confidentiality for that matter, like "firstname_lastname".

And some are far too creative, like: "boldandtheBrave", "amifrommars", "wanttruelove13" 13?...meaning that there were at least 12 others out there that had succumbed to using this same screen name? There was also "tango in armani", "rifelhunter", "gravitymoth", "windrider", and a personal favorite..."hasgoodtools"...as far as I could tell he didn't have mechanic listed as his profession. yikes!

Erik.

So I heard from Erik on Sunday...he was back in town. Working feverishly on this new project he got signed on for. Wanted to see me Sunday, but super stressed. I was a little unsure here. Trying to keep straight all the rules of He's Just Not That Into You. He was the one making the effort to do something again, yet he was also the one too busy to see anything through. Interesting.

He wanted to get together Monday after work...I already had plans for dinner with a good friend of mine that I hadn't seen in awhile. But settled on stopping by to say hi if it wasn't too late. Bad idea. I did stop by. I did say hi. We ended up making out and I ended up leaving feeling like I somehow agreed to being a booty call.

Pretty sure that's all Erik wanted from me. Pretty sure I won't be going out with him again. I'll learn. Eventually.

1st Week in Review...

Wow. It's been a week...an interesting week at that. Not sure what I expected and honestly not entirely sure how I feel right now. I committed to this online dating thing for a month and I'm going to try to keep an open mind with it...

A Weekend Date...

I hesitate over weekend dates. Weekend dates are more commitment than just weekday dates. But I agreed to a date tonight...Saturday night.

His name is Paul...40 years old. Moved recently to Utah. Trying to get to know the area. Impressed me with his few emails that had humor and wit to them. Also impressed me with his ability to ask me out, set a time and a place to meet. A level of maturity that had been lacking with other potential dates earlier in the week. Amazing.

So we met for a drink. Conversation was really great. He was interesting and funny. Not really a strain to keep it going. Reminded me of this professor I once dated. Not my typical guy, but something mysteriously intriguing about him. (the professor was dreamy...sigh).

So we decided to get a bite to eat. The night was progressing nicely. After dinner we walked for a bit and came to a place where we went in for another drink. I got tea and he settled on whiskey. Not all can hold their whiskey. In fact, I think it did him in, because from then on out he was uncensored and I...became his therapist.

omg. Too much information. You can't tell me that in all your 40 years you have never read articles on what not to discuss on a first date! He took me through both of his divorces, his mis-fit of a mother for a parent (who really didn't sound all that horrible), and his very stable and consistent relationship with his therapist.

What had seemed so promising turned so tragic within a very short amount of time. We left and he insisted on walking me to my car. I wasn't all that thrilled to be spending the extra time with him, but a little grateful solely because of the protection factor.

We got to my car and I assure you I was not giving any kind of vibe that would indicate that I am at all interested. But we'll blame it on the whiskey once again, because...he went in for a kiss! Completely shocked...he was actually able to land one on me. I have never been so disgusted. Pinned now against my car, I tried turning my face away. Which I'm pretty sure was interpreted as encouragement from me. Finally able to free my arms I pushed him away. This was all within seconds, but seconds that definitely felt like eternity. In the midst of me fumbling to get into my car, he said, "so we're good for another date, right?" (As a side-note here. I am not one to lead someone on. I am direct and don't hesitate to let you know immediately what I think and feel.) But I couldn't think. I was paralyzed and so astonished that it was actually being asked sincerely. All I could get out was, "call me!" What followed made me question how my initial judgment of him could have been so off. He literally clapped his hands and did a little jump in the air. wow.

Not 10 minutes later, safe at home I got a text. "You rock, even better than Bon Jovi. Thanks for a stellar evening. :)" Oh God. The 40 year old just took us all back to the 1980's. The decade I was born. Maybe dating older men isn't such a good idea.

ugh. why?

okay. So following a great date on Sunday, I had two more lined up.

Tuesday was Indecisive Rodney. From the emails and such...I wasn't quite sure how certain I was about going out with this guy. His profile was pretty vague. One of the two pictures he did have posted was him in a goofy Halloween costume?? Seriously. And judge away that I was still willing to go out with him.

We had decided on meeting up after he got off work on Tuesday night. It was going to be a little later...after 9 sometime. I didn't want to be out too late and had communicated this to him, just in case for some reason he couldn't get off work till later.

Phone call a little after 9. Conversation was so awkward. I should back up a little. He had asked earlier (via text) if I had an idea on where to go. I sent him back 3 different options. His reply: "What sounds fun?" I'll admit, I was slightly annoyed. I just gave the guy options...weigh in on where you think sounds good. Would I have suggested any of them if they sounded boring? A few back and forth texts later I make a decision for us. Then the phone call a little after 9...which resulted in back and forth awkwardness to a greater degree than any of the text messaging had reached earlier! He was so stuck on the fact that I didn't want to be out too late...mind you it was only a little past 9...like 9:08. I said I was fine and was wanting to meet up. He kept playing this ridiculous game and not committing to meet up. So finally, out of annoyance, I said we should just do it another night. Hung up.

Ten minutes later...text message. He's apologizing for getting out so late. Really struggling to read this one. But definitely not worth the energy already. I heard from him a couple times this week, but finally just told him I wasn't interested. Maybe I'm being too harsh...

Wednesday...date with Mr. McDreamy, Steve. Once again...slight annoyance. We had set up a date on Sunday. Tuesday evening...after the debacle with Mr. Indecisive, I sent Steve a text to make sure we were still on for the next evening. His reply: yes. I'm feeling once again like I'm doing all the work here. I ask if he had a time in mind? No response. No response until 5:30 the following afternoon. On top of that the response reads, "I'm having to work late tonight, is there another time that works? The only way to see me tonight is if you came over later...and I don't know if that is weird or not." Seriously? Ugh. This is not one of those "I'm going to live in the moment" kind of moments that I'm trying to learn to embrace. I recognize a booty call when I see one. Geeze. Creep. Ugh.

I did however hear from Erik again! Trying to figure out another time to go out. He's heading out of town this weekend, but is interested in getting together when he gets back. yay. Hung out a bit with Tyler today. Took the puppies for a walk. It was good to see him. Tyler was the first guy I ever loved. He broke my heart, but through the years we've managed to become good friends, and for that I'm grateful.

Tomorrow night. Is girl night out. And I'm looking forward to some relief from all this dating.

the date...

Erik. Date was great! phew.

So coffee got changed to drinks later in the evening. Something about him visiting his 90 year-old grandma every Sunday. Skeptical on whether or not this was to impress me or if it was the humbled truth.

Me predate: Nervous. Can't even dress myself. I actually sent a text to some of my guy friends to find out if I should go with jeans or skirt. Skirt, teeshirt, and boots won.

Piper Down...local pub. Me waiting. I was even fashionably late. He calls. First time to hear his voice. Honestly, not impressed...kind of mumbler. But it is a cell phone after all, I'm willing to look past it. He walks in...and he's handsome. Tall, dark, and handsome. This priceless look of relief came over his face when he saw me.

We found ourselves a booth, ordered drinks, and started up conversation. Aside from nerves it felt pretty natural. He grew up in Utah. Born and raised. Not religious, but can respect different faiths. Which is important to me, even though I myself am not religious, my family is very much so. We had quite a bit to talk about.

One thing that could pose as a red flag was this conversation about how his best friend's wife has a thing for him. I'm not entirely sure how to read into that, but not going to write him off for it right now either.

Things were going so well we went back to his place to play rock band hero...it was a Sunday night. Not many other options in the Beehive state. I realize though the potential risk in going back to his place...so I sent my online dating confident of a friend a text with his name, license plate number, address, and a time for when I should be home. Not sure if that was savvy of me or not...

There was definite chemistry, and I was pleasantly surprised that it was going so well. He wooed me by showing me his recording studio, some of the work he's done for some big name companies, and then introduced me to rock band. I'm an addict. Don't know why I waited so long to play!

The night couldn't have been better...and ended with a kiss. Such a lip-slut I am. haha! Seriously though, part of this resolution of mine is to be in the moment. I've been too reserved in the past. The sole purpose of this is so that I can figure this dating thing out. So I went with the kiss. And so glad I did! ha!

It was a good date. With the promise of more. How lucky am I this was my first experience?